The first step to inner peace is reconciliation. Without reconciliation there is no inner peace. But wait does that mean that others can hold us hostage and keep us from finding peace. After all, some people will not reconcile, and some situations are unreconcilable. According to the Bible we should try to reconcile with everyone (Matt. 5:23) but there are times when reconciliation with that person does not come, or we only receive partial reconciliation. Then what do we do? If you have already tried to reconcile with that person and you never got complete reconciliation with them, you must move on to finding reconciliation within yourself over the matter. It is possible to find inner reconciliation on a matter even if that other person does not want to reconcile.
We often "wrestle" with things inside of us, things that we have never come to grips with in life. If, by the grace of God you can settle the issue inside you than at least you have reconciled the matter within YOURSELF, and now you can rest. As long as we haven't settled our issues inside us we wrestle with them in our mind and our spirit. You have to look at what you are wrestling with and may have to lay some things down to find inner peace. For instance, if you are looking for approval from others, you will not find inner peace until you lay that down. If you are looking for someone to feel sorry for you, you will not find inner peace until you move past that desire. Other things that steal our inner peace are insecurities, fears, jealousy, anger and things like this. Much of the teaching that Jesus gave to us while on the earth is how to overcome these type of things so that they DO NOT RULE your life. There are many things that can 'steal' your inner peace, so it will take the presence and spirit of God to help you overcome and find peace and satisfaction in this life.
1. The serenity prayer comes into play here, because without accepting the things we cannot change, and changing the things we cannot accept, we will not find inner peace. Remember not everything has a solution, and also, whatever you cannot tolerate, you must change, no matter the cost.
2. Carefully thought out actions will bring good results in our lives, but often we spend a life time REACTING to others instead of acting for what is best. If our reaction to others are not appropriate we have to take responsibility and let go of our bitterness. Excuses along the way in life is a big enemy to finding inner peace. Don't give way to excuses, but rather, line your life up with what the Bible says. It is the only way to find inner peace.
3. We cannot ignore the way we feel. You have to face your feelings head on and find a resolution that you can accept. Ignoring your feelings is the best way to end up at the doctor on meds, on the otherhand, we can't act on all of our feelings either. We must find a way to resolve our feelings and come to a place of acceptance of our selves, our circumstances, our family, our lives. If we cannot, than we must change things to what is acceptable. Acknowledging the truth will set us free. Search through the Bible on topics regarding your circumstances. Look for viable solutions within the Word of God. Often the answer is tough to apply, but when we line up with God, the answers come.
4. Don't let what you want to be, who you used to be, or what others have done to you dominate your thoughts. You are going to MISS who you are NOW if you do, and missing who you are now causes pain for the people around us. For instance, if you are a MOTHER now, embrace that and let that be in the center of your thoughts and actions. Don't let what you wished you were, or what happened to you when you were a child dominate you. Don't sacrifice today for tomorrow or yesterday. Inner peace is impossible to find without embracing the NOW.
5. The Psalmist said, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." Always wanting, and wanting, and wanting...this is dangerous to your soul, your mind, your relationships, your finances. This is a huge danger in life and will keep you from inner peace. We must find satisfaction is what we have, and thankfully work towards higher goals. Covetousness is a cancer to the soul and will cause you to be unhappy no matter how good you got it.
6. Know yourself, and don't do what you can't handle. If you can't handle someone, stay away as much as you can. If you can't handle the internet without sinning, stay away. If you can't handle going to a certain part of town without falling back into the same ole mess, than stay away. We make life harder and inner peace impossible when we push ourselves to the things that tear us apart.
7. Don't overlook the small things. Here is an example, if a fly is buzzing you all day long, it may be small, but by the end of the day you will feel frazzled. Sometimes people live by their suffering. They try to punish themself. I know people who think it spiritual to cause yourself to suffer. Suffering comes to everyone sometimes, but eliminate all of it that you can. Stop trying to 'manage' your life, and set your life in a place that is not as hard to manage.
8. Settle wtihin yourself that peace is just as important as performance. What good does it do to 'have it all' if you are a ball of nerves and one pill away from suicide? Success at the cost of inner peace is not a success than came from God and you don't want it! As you set your priorities set inner peace as one of your top goals. If we gain the whole world and lose our souls, what does it profit us?
