If HE REALLY loves me, THAN Why Does He Treat Me So Bad Sometimes?

There are mistakes that we make in life, and the hurts that we get from family members and the hurts we dish out to family members are some of the most painful things in life.  There are some things that run in the family line.   Like Jacob the supplanter, he cheated his brother out of the birth right and the blessing.  His mother made the arrangements and encouraged him to deceive his father with lies to steal the blessing.   His uncle cheated him, His wife stole her dad's idols.   Wow.  cheat, steal, lie, swindle, use, abuse...this family is not an easy one to grow up in right here.  Jacob finally left his father-in-laws house, he snuck out with and children in the middle of the night.   What did Laban do?  Chase after  him!     YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU HAVE TO SNEAK OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT for fear of what they will do to you if you leave and sure enough they CHASE YOU DOWN!

Yet, I am talking to someone today and you have been hurt, abused, taken advantage of, cheated and stabbed in the back by the people that were supposed to love you!!   And you have tried to sneak out in the night and get away but they come and chased you down just like Laban chased down Jacob and his wives.  You may think well, Laban was his employer, and that is how bosses do.  Laban was more than an employer, he was his Father-in-Law.  Jacob's children were Laban's grandkids.  It was more complicated than that.  And that is the point.  Abusive relationships are always MORE COMPLICATED than that.   We tend to put up with the abuse because it is our babies dad, or grandad, or aunt or uncle.   We  tend to put up with it because it is our wives brother, etc...You have to realize it is always MORE COMPLICATED than that...

Jacob said

genesis 31:38This twenty years have I been with you; your ewes and your female goats have not cast their young, and the rams of your flock have I not eaten.

39That which was torn of beasts I brought not unto you; I bore the loss of it; of my hand did you require it, whether stolen by day, or stolen by night.

40Thus I was; in the day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night; and my sleep departed from my eyes

There are people today they know what it is like to be in an abusive relationship.  At work. At home. In love.  In friendships.  and you know first hand how hard it is to break away from their grip.   IF someone truly loves you, they will let you go, you will be free to go.  If someone has become co-dependent and wants to control you, and live off your kindness, they will chase you down and say whatever sorry thing they have to say to get you back...

Please listen to me because you are going to learn something here that will save your life!  The more a person clings to you and bellows and carries on when you walk away, the more abusive your relationship really is...If they LOVED you they would treat you better while they have YOU.  Why do they treat you bad and then act like you are their WORLD when you walk away?  Don't be deceived it IS NOT because they love you.   They NEED YOU to keep up the lifestyle they have, they need you to keep up whatever thing THEY got going on, they are co-dependent on you, but really they hate that co-dependency.  That co-dependency makes them feel week, so that is why they abuse you when you are there and treat you with contempt.  But they KNOW if you leave that the good  things you bring into their life will leave with you, and they need those good things and they can't live without what you DO for them, so they say whatever they can to get you back and then a few weeks later it is right back to trashing you again.  

Listen to what Laban says to Jacob a few chapters back

Genesis 30:25And it came to pass, when Rachel had borne Joseph, that Jacob said unto Laban, Send me away, that I may go unto my own place, and to my country.

26Give me my wives and my children, for whom I have served you, and let me go: for you know my service which I have done you.

27And Laban said unto him, I pray you, if I have found favor in your eyes, tarry: for I have learned by experience that the LORD has blessed me for your sake.

Jacob was bringing a blessing to Laban, and because of that Laban was co-dependent upon Jacob.  There are many today.  You are living with someone and they are co-dependent upon you.  You are taking care of their children, their sexual needs, their need to just not be alone, their need to have someone they can boss.  And they are abusing you, and treating  you like you are nothing, but every time you start to leave they claim their undying love, and pout and talk about wanting to die...etc....OPEN you eyes!  This person DOES NOT love you.  They are just co-dependent upon you.  And the way human nature goes, the people that you are co-dependent upon are the people that REMIND you of your weaknesses, we tend to despise the people we are co-dependent upon, and that is why they treat you with such contempt.  If you REALLY love them, walk away and don't look back.   Someone will say, "Hey if they need me I should go back to them.   You have to understand that as long as they are co-dependent upon you, and can't live without  you, they will treat you with contempt because you remind them that they are weak and can't make it on their own..  They want to keep you there because of their co-dependency upon you,  but they will NEVER be good to you just like Laban would have never been good to Jacob no matter how hard Jacob worked for him.  

Jacob said: 

Genesis 31:40Thus I was; in the day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night; and my sleep departed from my eyes

This is what happens when you stay in a relationship where the other person treats you like crap but they won't let you go because they are co-dependent upon you.  The heat will consume you in the day, cold at night and sleep won't come to your eyes.

Child of God, walk away, and DON'T look back!