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Monday, November 17, 2014

How To Avoid Strife and Unwanted Drama

In the Bible, Isaac dug a well.  There was contention and strife over the well.   His neighbors came over and got into a fight over who owned the property.  So he dug another well.   And once again there was contention and strife over the well...I'm talking to someone today and you are in close relationship with someone that no matter what you do they have to go stirring something up!   Isaac had to dig his well THREE times before he could get away from the strife.

Each time he dug the well he had to move off a distance and dig again!  The only answer to strife is to move away from it.  That doesn't mean switch jobs, or ditch your spouse, or change your church, it means you have to ignore and walk away.  What would have happened if Isaac demanded his rights, and thought he had a moral OBLIGATION to stand up for his rights.    What if he had fought for the first well?  It very well could have been a battle that cost him lives, provisions, and likely a lot or heart ache and pain.   People who are constantly stirring up strife are judgmental people who are unhappy with themselves.  They draw attention away from their own imperfections by accusing and picking at others.   When they come at you with strife and contention, all they want is a good fight!

I'm talking to someone today that every time someone starts a quarrel with you, somehow you feel it is YOUR JOB to END IT, by winning the battle and proving them WRONG.  How much better to just walk away and dig another well.  They eventually let Isaac have his well, because they weren't really needing another well, what the wanted was a good FIGHT.  When they couldn't push his buttons to put up a good fight, they got tired of their GAME.  People who continually stir up strife are people that like to play games with you and their reward is seeing your anger and watching your nose flair.  Once you stand up and fight, they already won, even if they LOSE the battle, because the FIGHT is what they wanted in the first place!

Can you see that those stirring up strife with you are not really wanting to learn anything, or obtain anything or prove anything.  All they are looking for is a good FIGHT!  Don't give it to them.  Just because they say something ignorant, do something mean, or act someway repulsive does not mean you have to straighten them out!    Learn to walk away and dig your well somewhere else. 

Look at these verses in proverbs: 

Proverbs 26:20-21 Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.  As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

Proverbs 20:3   It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.

Proverbs 17:14  The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

Proverbs 15:18  A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

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